Goodbye
by PandoraHeartsAngel
Summary: Allen Walker had disappeared. Vanished. Went missing. Joined the Noah. What happened? When things look mute Kanda becomes determined to find the Moyashi but nobody understands how fundamental his role in this mystery is. Is this search for nothing? Where is Allen? Yullen
1. Gone

**Story:** **Goodbye**

\- By **PandoraHeartsAngel**

 **Summary:** Allen Walker had disappeared. Vanished. Went missing. Joined the Noah. What happened? When things look mute Kanda becomes determined to find the Moyashi but nobody understands how fundamental his role in this mystery is. Is this search for nothing? Where is Allen? Yullen

 **AN/Warnings:** This fic is under the ANGST genre, if you want comedy or a light-hearted read, this story is not for you my friend. Also some of these chapters may be pretty short; but I'm hoping that'll mean I'll update quicker?

Since this is a mystery I can't reveal much, but i'll say I have a 9 chapter layout plan and this fic will be Yullen, maybe one-sided, very Kanda-centric- if three genres was possible romance would definitely be there.

Remember if you want updates to review, that always makes me want write! In short reviews = chapters.

Lastly, don't like, don't read.

\- 16 October 2016

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters or anything else in D Gray Man; Katsura Hoshino does!

 **Dear Wonderful Reviewers:** Reviews are very appreciated; they are the things that make me want to get up and update as quickly as possible! But please flames are not ok, saying 'no offence' afterwards doesn't change anything.

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 **Chapter 1:** Gone

~Lavi~

 **December 30 - Cairo, Egypt, 2** **:14pm**

The white ribbons of Clown Crown tied the level one down while it was sliced in two through the center. A few feet away Lavi knocked another akuma towards Lenalee who proceed to jump up and kick the akuma with her dark boots. It flew a few more feet before it's journey ended upon meeting Mugen.

"Che." Kanda hissed as he flung the mortally wounded akuma off his sword.

"Little hammer, big hammer, fire stamp!" Lavi shouted as he wacked his trusty hammer on the solid dirt beneath him. Flames erupted as several level ones fell over.

"Show off!" Lenalee commented as she jumped up to do her signature Mist Wind on a nearby level two.

"If you say so!"

Lavi turned to his Moyashi-chan hoping he would join in on the talent show to see him throwing an attack at an akuma behind him with his fully-invoked clawed left hand only to cease the edge end before it was complete.

Lavi ticked his tongue at his friend's foolish performance.

 _"That isn't right... The Moyashi-chan always gives his attacks full on."_

~Allen~

Allen felt the familiar horrible burn shoot through his left arm. He muffled a cry that attempted to escape from his closed lips. He turned from the third in front of him, ending their play fight. The akuma looked at the boy with confusion before Allen completely turned and began to walk away.

"What are you doing Moyashi-chan!?" Lavi asked when the boy ran past him as he went after the oddly defenseless level three.

After a heaven stamp marking with his iron hammer, a bright bolt of lightening finished the weak akuma. The redhead noticed as Allen's white-hooded cowl faded away from the figure running in the distance.

 **10 minutes later...**

Allen could see his trio of friends in the distance. Kanda was just finishing the last akuma. Saving an easy level one for the end. Allen sighed, the battle was over, _'I'm pathetic'_

"Allen!" Lenalee jumped up and waved at him to come over. Allen frowned before he began to jog over.

"Ya, what the heck was that?!" Lavi back-slapped the boy- slightly harsher than usual- when Allen reached them.

The British tried to play off the question with obliviousness as he rubbed his now sore upper back.

~Kanda~

When Kanda turned to look at the returned member he didn't expect the pale complexion, _'And Lavi hit him!? Didn't that idoit notice he was sick- he can't be that dumb, he is a Bookman afterall...'_

Kanda wanted to ask, something wasn't right, but to show such open concern was insanely out of character for him. Maintaining his cold stotic appearance kept people away which was want he liked although maybe not _everyone_. But he was starting to care less and less, maybe it wasn't worth it anymore. Kanda was about to speakup when Lavi decided he had enough of the ignoring attitude from Allen.

"Dammit Moyashi-chan!"

Kanda saw Allen tense up from the shout, the anger that tinged Lavi's voice was unexpected from the usually care-free rabbit.

"I was protecting the little girl!"

 _'Little girl?-'_

"Eh?"

"By that building," Allen pointed in the direction he had come from, Kanda could see an old small battered down- probably abandoned too by the looks of it- building in the distance.

"There was a young village girl walking over," Allen continued, "I had to stop her before she came too close and got hurt."

"I never saw-"

"Che."

Kanda knew the story wasn't right, but if Allen was hiding something, there was a reason behind it. He didn't care for Lavi digging through the boy to get a proper excuse. He knew Lavi wouldn't give up so easily but for now he just wanted it to end. Kanda turned on his heel to leave the abandoned park-turned-battlefield. When the other three noticed his exit a moment later he heard a clatter marching after him.

~Lenalee~

 **Train Station, Cairo, Egypt, 4:23** **pm**

Lenalee's nails dug into her palms when she saw the _duo_ of boys leave the bathroom. She felt a pang in her left hand as her nails broke skin. Upon notice of the self-inflicted injury she stopped flexing her knuckles, luckily her right hand was saved by the 4 crumpled paper tickets she held.

"He wasn't there?" Lenalee asked the men when they joined her but she knew the answer. The duo would be a trio if they had found Allen.

"He said he would be back in 5! that was over 20 minutes ago, our train is leaving soon..." Lenalee explained in response to Lavi's shake of his head. Kanda only sighed but Lenalee saw the concern hidden deep in his raven eyes.

"I'm going to look outside again." The samurai muttered and turned to the station's revolving front doors.

"Okay Yuu you go do that!" Lavi said despite the fact Kanda was already some feet away. Lenalee could've swore she heard an echo of 'don't call me that!' but she could be wrong.

"Lena how about you check the gates in that direction and I'll check them this way?"

The female exorcist nodded in agreement at her comrade's proposed search mission before taking off to begin her look-out.

 **30 minutes later...**

Lenalee huffed at the deja-vu feeling she got when she saw Lavi exit the bathroom solo.

"How did they both disappear!?" Annoyance was starting to become fury for the girl.

"Well we've missed our train now," Lavi pointed out when he looked up at the large clock, "no need to rush so much."

Lenalee looked towards the entrance, it was the first place they checked after they had searched the gates and realized Kanda wasn't back. That was 20 minutes ago and only a few minutes later they had heard the boarding call for their train. Now it was 5 minutes _past_ their train's departing time. Lenalee knew deep down even if they had found Kanda back then she wouldn't have boarded the train with a member missing from their group. She couldn't blame the samurai on her anger nor could she blame Allen. She knew it wasn't done on purpose. Allen wouldn't leave on his on accord... Would he?

Lenalee took a deep breath followed by a slow exhale.

"Let's look outside again." She took off before hearing an answer but she knew Lavi would follow.

When they got outside Lenalee walked straight past the front crowd and down the side of the building. They had only searched within the crowd previously and somehow Lena knew that if neither boy was there 10 minutes ago, neither would be there now. She raced the exterior of the old walls towards the back of the station. Somehow that place called to her.

Moments later the duo reached the station's end. Lavi huffed at the deserted platform surrounding them. Lenalee watched the red-haired man pace forward. A tree cut some of the bright sunlight but blue eyes took in something in that shaded place. _'Is that a rock?_ ' A slight breeze came and with the flutter of fabric the girl's inquiry was answered.

"Yuu!"

Lenalee heard Lavi shout and run towards the lump in the shade. As she drew near she noticed the raven hair and exorcist coat. A few feet away she froze as she took it in. Lavi now hovering in worry over Kanda's unconscious form.

Allen was not with him.

Tears pricked her eyes as she turned her head down only to notice a flicker of white trapped under a nearby rock.

Lenalee grabbed the paper and unfolded the note. The words only making her eyes swell more as a tear dropped onto the script.

"Goodbye." - A.W.

~N/A~

 **July 23 - Black Order Headquarters**

Six months, two weeks, seven days. That's how long it's been since anyone last saw him. Six months, three weeks, one day. Nobody heard a word of him. Six months, three weeks, two days. That's how long they searched. Six months, three weeks, three days. Allen Walker was declared dead.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading!**

"Anyway, it doesn't matter how much, how often, or how closely you keep an eye on things because you can't control it. Sometimes things and people just go. Just like that."  
\- Cecelia Ahern


	2. Lost

**Goodbye**

 **Chapter Summary:** The aftermath of Allen's disappearance...

 **Dear my wonderful reviewers,**

 **Grima** : Thanks, I've never tackled mystery but I'm up for the challenge!

 **Lin-Dragon-Dreyer** : Ooo good question! I honestly have never thought much into this, but I'd say definitely after Noah's Ark arc, and after Tim joins, but before Alma.

 **Dark Magpie** : Mmmm interesting, is it because of that? I wonder...

 **jy24** : Haha that's good! Else this would be a pretty terrible mystery eh?!

 **JJ45** : Thank you! I'll try to update soon!

 **Lena-luvs-cats** : Great to hear!

 **Thanks for reviewing, love yah~**

 **AN:** Sorry for the time jumps here, hopefully it's not confusing... But maybe in a mystery that's a good thing? Like how I said before, these chapters won't be very long, this below will show you what to expect- about 1,000 words. If you've read my Ouran story (Wobble) you may know I have a disability (Friedreich's Ataxia) and my motor skills (writing/typing) aren't the fastest so there will be times when- even though it is short- chapters/updates will require some patience.

\- 18 October 2016

* * *

 **Chapter 2:** Lost

 _Six months, three weeks, four days:_

~Kanda~

 **July 24 - Black Order, Kanda's room, 4:09pm**

Allen Walker is dead. He isn't coming back. For some odd reason those words could not latch into Kanda's mind. Like it went into one ear only to exit through the opposite. Why couldn't he believe it? Did his head just refuse to retain the knowledge?

Kanda ceased his sitting position to lay back on his bed. Navy hair clashed in the strong contrast to the bleach white sheets as the long silky tendrils spread over the cotton blanket. He brought a pale arm to sit over closed eyelids. _'The moyashi IS dead'_ Kanda sighed in exasperation.

Still it didn't feel right. Maybe Kanda just didn't let the knowledge trigger heartbreak because Kanda didn't like Allen like the others? Lenalee broke in pieces when the news ran over the order's radio yesterday. Lavi didn't portray such a show but the Bookman did express more than _a Bookman_ should. Krory, Miranda, even Timothy were all with the samurai when the news broke. The non-sobbing and non-questions-of-confusion were not the only telltale signs Kanda's reaction was different.

Maybe he simply didn't believe it was true? Heck practically nobody did, unlike how the news eventually came to terms with everyone it never had for Kanda. Now the samurai didn't find Allen his bestfriend by any means but he did care for the boy enough to produce emotion when news of his death came to light. But absolutely no reaction came. _'What is wrong with me?'_

 ** _~~~~~~~~~~ FLASHBACK_**

 **December 31 - Ship enroute to the Black Order Headquarters, 6:28pm**

"I still can't believe we are leaving!"

"Aish! Stop saying that Lena, we're almost there we aren't turning back!"

"But-"

"The sprout isn't there, he knows where the order is, he can come to us when he wants." The still man on the back of the small ship muttered. Kanda saw Lavi look at the man with a sparkle in his lone green eye.

"Yuu! Do you remember?!"

"Che, I told you to not call me that baka-usagi," Kanda turned away from Lavi to look at the dark sea with crossed arms, "I don't have my memory of that but I know the moyashi. He is stupid and probably got lost in Cairo but he'll manage on his own..."

"Awww Yuu actually cares-"

"Either that or a donkey will kill him."

Lavi sweat dropped and Lenalee's head flew around,

"Actually it will probably be a camel." Kanda added in afterthought.

"Turn around!" Lenalee yelled to the captain.

~Komui~

 **July 23 - Black Order, Komui's office, 7:05pm**

The Chinese sat back in his desk chair and waited. His speech lay written in front of him over a number of other documents on his desk. Komui could consider this paper garbage now that it's purpose has been fulfilled. Even though a trash bin stood patiently calling it beside his desk Komui couldn't. The text's job in Komui's mind wasn't done.

A shuffle and a few bangs were heard before the office door flew open. A young bespectacled man stood in an unsteady daze as he corrected the lab coat hanging off his boney shoulder.

"Johnny..." Komui started and the boy looked up.

"It's not true!" Johnny huffed in panic, Komui casted his eyes down.

"Johnny-" The supervisor started only to break off upon hearing another- even louder- commotion outside. The scientist scurried from the doorway as a bunch of exorcists tumbled into the stuffy office.

"Nii-san!" Komui looked into the red-rimmed eyes of his dearest sister. Miranda stood from the pile of exorcists off to ground behind her. Lenalee miraculously managed to avoid the dogpile while Lavi flattened into a pancake under Timothy, Krory, and Yuu Kanda. Timothy, who lay on top, jumped up next only to run towards Komui, fists drawn.

"What is this bulls*** you're sprouting?!

Komui opened his mouth only to be interrupted again,

"Why would you say that?" Miranda sputtered,

"Because I told him," A strong loud voice bellowed from the hallway, "But it's not a lie."

Malcolm C. Lvellie stood in the crowded doorway. A silent Howard Link followed close behind.

 ** _END OF FLASHBACK ~~~~~_**

~Kanda~

 **Black Order, Bathing quarter, 10:17pm**

The wide bathroom stood dark, quiet and empty minus the lone figure. Yuu Kanda wet the cloth with warm water one last time before raising it to soak the skin on his face. With both hands and closed eyes he enclosed his face with the damp cloth. He exhaled deeply as he let the cloth fall to the sink. He slowly opened his eyes to grab his toleitres when he saw him. The mirror in front of the Japanese reflected the open doorway into the hallway, in it there a distressed young man stood. Snow-white hair was shifted to the side for silver orbs to come into view.

"Moyashi?"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading~**

Penny for your thoughts? **Please review!**

"You get use to someone—start to like them, even—and they leave. In the end, everyone leaves."  
\- Rachel Ward, _Numbers (Numbers, #1)_


	3. Unknown

**Goodbye**

 **Chapter Summary:** "He isn't dead!"...

 **Dear my wonderful reviewers,**

 **Ryuakilover** : ANGST ;p

 **Dark Magpie** : Kanda does care, he isn't all evil hehe and I'm not telling- It's a secret!

 **jy24** : Things aren't always so predicable!

 **Lena-luvs-cats** : I wonder...

 **Lin-Dragon-Dreyer** : and thank you for reviewing, in this type of story I can't answer all questions but I'll try so long as it doesn't reveal too much.

 **Thanks, love yah~**

 **AN:** So I lied, maybe not all the chapters will be so short. I know I am leaving lots of parts unfinished, this is mainly done on purpose but sometimes I just do it because I don't know how else to end the scene- of course I will not be saying what exactly I'm talking about! Also, this is very random, did you watch The Walking Dead the other night?! I won't tell spoilers but OMG... I can't figure out if I'm angry or sad or grossed out or if I loved the episode.

\- 27 October 2016

* * *

 **Chapter 3:** Unknown

 _Six months, three weeks, five days:_

~Lavi~

 **July 25 - Black Order, Training grounds, 9:01am**

"Yuu! Yuu! Yuu!-"

Lavi ran into the almost empty room. The upper floors, which were solely created for the training of the Black Order's exorcists, were silent as pretty much everyone- not on a mission- was currently sitting in the cafeteria eating one of Jerry's hearty breakfasts. The cafeteria was where the red-head expected to find the sulking samurai. In the end he was unsuccessful, after checking his friend's bedroom he decided the next best option for his search was to check the training grounds. After all these were the only 3 places the boy seemed to ever be. Sure enough upon entering the wide marble arched doorways Lavi found Kanda sitting cross-legged, face towards the wall, at the far end of the gym.

Lavi tiptoed towards the young man and although he made no sound the samurai muttered words of unwelcoming distaste. Lavi didn't quite catch what was said but all the same he was proud of his friend for attaining such amazing ability as detecting a presence like that.

"I've been looking _EVERYWHERE_ for you!"

"Che." Kanda continued his now unsuccessful mediation pose and kept his eyes shut until he heard movement on his right, "What is it?"

"I have news..." Lavi paused, "I really shouldn't say... I only know as it is classified bookman intell-"

"Then why the fuck are you here Usagi!?"

"No need to be so rude! You cut me off before I could finish explaining that even though I shouldn't tell you I will because _I trust you._ "

Kanda gave Lavi a weird look but complained no more and continued to listen.

"Komui has ordered a meeting with all the higher ups."

Lavi watched for the samurai's reaction but only saw a frown. "And?"

Lavi blinked, "Oh yeah I forgot to add the meeting is regarding Allen and whether or not we should be stating his death."

Kanda frowned again as the green eyed boy stared intently at him, "Why are you telling me this?"

"I thought you'd want to know, the Moyashi-chan is our friend after-all... then again I could give that same reasoning on almost everyone here, the Moyashi sure is popular, the rumours of his traitorous actions did nothing in the end, people love him all the same- expect maybe some of the generals, I hear Winters Socalo and Klaud Nine are annoyed at the fact they are being called back to the headquarters for this meeting- then again that may just be because-"

"Get on with it!" the Japanese interrupted the rambling as he tried unsuccessfully to go on with his meditation.

"Because when it comes to Allen you seem to me to be the most desperate." The bookman junior said quietly.

 ** _~~~~~~~~~~ FLASHBACK_**

~Kanda~

 **Black Order, Bathing quarter, 10:17pm**

The wide bathroom stood dark, quiet and empty minus the lone figure. Yuu Kanda wet the cloth with warm water one last time before raising it to soak the skin on his face. With both hands and closed eyes he enclosed his face with the damp cloth. He exhaled deeply as he let the cloth fall to the sink. He slowly opened his eyes to grab his toiletries when he saw him. The mirror in front of the Japanese reflected the open doorway into the hallway, in it there a distressed young man stood. Snow-white hair was shifted to the side for silver orbs to come into view.

"Moyashi?"

Kanda saw the soft pink lips form a small smirk before Kanda dropped everything and blinked in surprise. When the samurai reopened his eyes a millisecond later Allen was gone. Kanda stood still for a moment longer before dashing to the doorway.

Vast corridors welcomed him when he spun around the hallway in disarray. _'Allen'_ Kanda's gums started to ache when he realized he was biting down with such force his teeth were making a harsh sound when they grinded together. He stopped himself as he continued down the long corridor. Huge stain-glass windows filled the one wall of the hallway. Kanda would assume the boy had jumped but the windows did not open nor was there any holes or cracks to show someone broke through. Kanda ran to the door closest- which in reality was not close at all. It was the door in which opened into the main science lab. There were multiple labs in the order but people liked to dub this lab in particular as the _main_ lab as it is the largest. In it held the entrance doorway to the ark. Holding such an important artifact Kanda wasn't too shocked to find the door locked. With all the chains and bolts Kanda figured the sprout did not escape through here.

He turned the corner to continue down the corridor all was meet with half a dozen doors. This floor held the beginning of the order's many dorm rooms. One of these 6 held Yuu's room. Kanda huffed out as he began his search.

 ** _END OF FLASHBACK ~~~~~_**

~Kanda~

 **Black Order, Cafeteria, 9:28am**

Kanda entered the cafeteria expecting a fading breakfast crowd but found the opposite.

The cafeteria was booming, Kanda usually ate early- around 6 or 7- for the sole purpose to avoid this. After the late night he had slept-in and instead of eating first he thought mediating first would be best as he hoped the crowd would pass. He had wanted to clear his buzzing mind before attempt to get on with his day. His mediation unfortunately was cut short, and though Lavi didn't stay long he couldn't find it in him to resume his mediation after Lavi parted. He knew it'd still be slightly busy in the cafeteria now but not this.

He then remembered Lavi's words. Was there already rumours of the meeting- of Allen? The samurai supposed this was normal social interaction- gossiping, it was also something Kanda never understood thus never took part in.

Kanda quickly grabbed some soba and took a seat at the end and furthest table which only sat Miranda and Lenalee. As every table was full it was the best option.

He did his best to not draw attention to himself, hoping to ignored, and eat in peace, but of course no such luck.

"Have you heard?!"

 _'Baka Usagi, he can't keep his mouth shut, what a terrible bookman...'_ by what Lenalee said next he supposed his grumble wasn't as silent as he meant.

"Lavi?! No, brother told me- wait, does Lavi know something?! Why didn't he talk to me-"

Kanda sighed as he tuned out her bickering protest. Why was she complaining to him? She should vent to Lavi...

A few moments later the duo of girls sat staring at him, he supposed they had asked a question so he nodded. They looked confused but accepted his answer none-the-less. A minute later when the soba was gone, the Japanese rose and left the table without so much of a wave goodbye.

The cafeteria was large enough that the trek from the back of the room to the front, where Jerry and the entrance stood, was a bit more than just a few feet away.

He didn't see him at first. With so much bickering noise the high-pitched giggle almost blended in. But a moment later Kanda was able to hear the difference, he _knew_ that laugh better than any other. It sounded musical. When the samurai turned to the noise, which was resonating in the hallway just outside, he saw the shadow of a pale pink smile for only a second before he surpassed Kanda's window of view. Kanda almost dropped the tray holding his empty bowl of soba, _'hadn't anyone else seen him?'_ he turned around but no one else was looking.

He dropped the tray on the nearest counter before running to the doorway. But _he_ was gone. Like before he had once again disappeared without a trace. Once again Allen was gone.

~Lavi~

 **Black Order, Conference room B, 12:02pm**

Lavi looked forward, ignored gramp's request to keep his head down. Panda always told him they were only meant to observe and in no, way, shape, or form, were they to take part in things like this. They only watched the game of chess, never played.

The fluffy and greying light brown hair of General Froi Tiedoll, the oddly quiet Lau Shimin who sat on General Klaud Nine's shoulder and played with her frayed blond locks, and the spiked-hair, sharped-teeth General Winters Socalo were only some of the many people sitting around the oval table.

"Shall we begin?" Komui Lee asked in his chipper voice. Some murmurs of yes were heard in response which was enough for Komui to understand he should go on.

"I have called for this meeting under my authority as Chief Superior of the European Branch to bring up my concerns of Allen Walker-"

"I was told the boy had passed... Is that not true?" Renny Epstain- head of the North American branch- asked.

"That's correct-"

"He isn't dead!"

"Then where do you suppose he is?"

"..."

"Enough," Komui called out, "This is exactly what I want to discuss. I-"

"But-"

"Let me finish Louis! ...Now as I was saying I want to purpose that instead of declaring Allen dead we keep him marked as missing-"

"We did that for well over six months, and we are not searching anymore." Malcolm C. Lvellie cut in, "My subordinate Howard Link was there that day, we have put in too much effort in a lost cause, not to mention doing all this is most likely aiding the Noah."

 _'Lies'_ Lavi said in his head to bookman as he looked down.

"How is that so Inspector?"

"This is just distracting us from the war, the reason we're here, when the 14th has probably gone off to aid the enemies while we are spending all our resources to find that very same person- correction; very same thing."

"There hasn't been proof to that assumption!" Bak- Asian Branch chief- argued back, Komui eyed Bak with sorrow.

"I am not suggesting he is alive. Nor a Noah. I just don't want to say he is dead until we have reason too. We cannot make some theory be true. Until a fact, some kind of proof comes we won't say it.

"This is wasting resources, I already said this, and we cannot afford sending more exorcists-"

"We won't. We will cease searching but we won't mark him as deceased. Allen Walker's status will simply remain unknown." Komui spoke with a commanding tone. Lavi looked back up then to see the smallest form once Lvellie turned to leave. Not accepting but not declining either.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading~**

Penny for your thoughts? **Please review!**

"Not all those who wander are lost."  
\- J.R.R. Tolkien, _The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, #1)_


End file.
